Console Gaming is the Envy Sport
Posted in : game, gaming, video game on by : TruXter Tags: console, game, one, ps4, ps4microsoft, xbox
First console out of the gates is the XBox one . They have to make it look beefy. Everyone hates the looks of it. Everyone swears they will jump on the PlayStation because the Xbox looks stupid. Xbox one is rumored to release just in time for early adapters to buy the console for thanksgiving so family and friends will be begging for it by Christmas
They will announce some hardware that we are on the cusp of releasing to the public, but since it is Microsoft (the company long accused of making operating systems built to force you to buy more hardware) they will have some massive machinery in it. That “will never be in computers”. but there will be a version of that hardware on the market one month after the console is released. Then comes a million reproductions. then comes machinery that is better, yet, the existing operating systems identify it just fine.
Day of launch comes, the stripped down basic version is the price that Microsoft said the full version is, only reason people accept it is because they wanted to do the camp out thing on launch day and they justify it because the stripped version comes with a free control and 2 gigs more storage than originally stated for the stripped version.
All of the rich console kiddies jump on the Xbox, even though the Xbox now costs $200 more than the already inflated price first announced.
Then Play station announces they will release in a month. So Xbox releases the full extended blown up package, and the first edition stripped version can not upgrade to it. So the kiddies sell their xbox 1 early version for less than half it’s original cost and round up another $700 for the Elite.
Meanwhile kids are playing GTAV on their console calling kids with computers “poor and ignorant”
Then comes the pc release of GTAV and it comes with better graphics. The console kiddies say “so I already played it, it’s stupid ” then they see the new graphics, so they sell their Xbox for not even 25% of initial cost, and they loaded up on “the best parts” that are in no sequence any good for/with each other.
They buy the game and their computer locks up (due to buying the most expensive crap that the salesperson could mesh together) so they scream “MEMORY LEAK IN THE GAME” and throw internet tantrums and scream and cry about how GTA is always Bwoken. Then they pout, show videos of them selves stomping on their “badass loaded computer”. Youtube will be full of them.and then pout away. after several months they run and buy a new xbox.
They get home and unwrap Their newest Xbox after playing six times in the bubble wrap, and reach over and grab their 9 year old little sister’s laptop to run to the internet and tell everyone how they just purchased the Elite pro excelsior version of Xbox one. The one that has spinny wheels and a mounting bracket for your douche.
When they see right there in the advertisement section of their favorite social network.
PS4 basic comes with an extra small motorized fleshlight attached and virtual reality glasses. For just $600.
Remember kids. The console that releases first, is the one with the spoiled brats who complain about everything. Yes that’s right “Early adapters” are spoiled hipster brats.